Final disposition instructions

Authority, not just wishes

Most states set a priority list of who controls the disposition of remains, and most also let you displace that list by naming an agent in writing. That appointment is the working part of this document: it tells the funeral establishment whose signature to accept, which prevents the standoff that happens when relatives disagree.

In a number of states the disposition agent is a designation separate from the healthcare agent, so naming the same person in both documents is the safest approach.

What to spell out

• Burial, cremation or donation of your body, and the place — cemetery and plot, or where ashes should be kept or scattered.
• Embalming and preparation, which some faiths and some family plans handle very differently.
• Service type: traditional funeral, later memorial, graveside only, or none, plus observances, music and readings.
• Obituary and who should be notified.
• Veteran status, since military honors and burial benefits require locating your discharge papers (Form DD-214).
• How costs are paid: from your trust or estate, or through prepaid arrangements with a named provider.

Signing and sharing

Witness and notary practice varies, so this document is prepared with the combination your state expects. Give a signed copy to your agent, keep the original with your other estate documents, and — because these instructions are read in the first hours after a death — tell your family what they say while you are here to explain them.